


The Vampire Countertenor

by Veul_McLannon



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, and i love cezar and otto so here we go, it's only shippy if you squint but i ship them damnit so that's the tag, look it's Eurovision night tonight and it just dawned on me how much otto would probably love Cezar, pure fluff revolting fluff, they're all three totally married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 22:44:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14628596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veul_McLannon/pseuds/Veul_McLannon
Summary: Otto meets a celebrity crush from his Uberwald days and loses it slightly (no prior knowledge of Cezar required; but I do recommend you watch his 2013 Eurovision entry, if only for education's sake).





	The Vampire Countertenor

“Oh my- oh my- good gracious I- vell vot can I say, um... it is a _pleasure_ to meet you, Mr Ouatu.”

Otto was practically quaking in his boots in excitement. If he had been human, Sacharissa would have put good odds on him spontaneously combusting.

“I’m... I’m... such a fan. I- I love your vork, sir. Truly inspiring, truly _reminds_ vun off ze Old Country. The, the _minor keys_. The piercing operatic countertenor. The um... the...” He gestured awkwardly at the glittering cape draped around the other vampire’s shoulders. He wasn’t wearing much else before one reached the leather trousers. Which also glittered. Otto swallowed.

“I should very much like to... um...” he gestured hopelessly with his iconograph before William dived in and saved the day.

“What our esteemed colleague is asking, sir, is would you mind being interviewed for the Ankh-Morpork Times? We rarely see such a celebrity here – and perhaps to bring you a touch closer to the good man on the street of our city-” Sacharissa’s head snapped round, her eye twitching at such a grievous _stretching_ of the truth; citizens of Ankh-Morpork could only realistically be called "good" when referring to their ability to deprive others of their money “- Otto could join you in an iconograph?”

The vampire contralto inclined his head graciously and promptly wrapped one well-muscled arm around the quivering Otto, who was fumbling to sort out his tripod. Sacharissa grinned at him and gave him a thumbs-up as the other vampire turned away briefly to adjust his cape.

The salamander flashed; both vampires collapsed to the ground in a heap of ash and just as quickly popped up again, dusting themselves down.

William, who had remembered, seconds before Otto happily pushed his newly-developed extendable trigger, the effect that such light had on vampires, thanked every god he could think of that the performer was clearly used to such treatment.

After a rather brief interview, during which Otto spent rather more time staring at his feet than usual, the three of them thanked Uberwald’s greatest celebrity for his time and watched him flap away into the night. _Not_ one for the League of Temperance, then.

There was a beat, before Otto’s legs gave out under him.

Sacharissa darted forwards to catch his camera as it toppled, and William found himself with two armfuls of delirious vampire.

“I’m so... I... he is so _vunderful_... did you see how masterfully he svishes his cape? How rich is his voice? How... how...” The _Times’_ iconographer promptly passed out in sheer bliss. Sacharissa stifled a giggle. They would have to quietly frame that iconograph for him, this was _too_ cute.

William grinned at Sacharissa over Otto’s head, before scooping him up and beginning the trek back home.


End file.
